Burlesque

Ah, Burlesque.  Yes, I went to the theater this weekend.  I was about to start out by saying I’m conflicted, but really I’m not.  I know exactly how I feel.  I’m ambivalent.  There were some parts that showed promise.  A few of the numbers are good.  But overall, I kept wanting more.  Please give me more!  Won’t anyone give me more!  Sorry,  I was channeling and paraphrasing Ruth Fisher.  I continue to be baffled at how Hollywood has become synonymous with mediocrity.  Why can’t a film be outstanding and still make bucket loads of money?  Didn’t Moulin Rouge make a ton of money?  Shouldn’t that be the benchmark for movies with music?  Some details:  Cher was Cher.  She wasn’t great, but even when she’s just alright, she’s still Cher.  She’s captivating.  And the opening number was so much fun seeing her belt out the theme song.  Xtina has an amazing voice and I have to say I don’t really know her that well, but I couldn’t help but wonder why she looks like every other plastic porn starlet out there?  Did she used to have discernible facial features?  I’m not being mean, I’m just wondering if she’s had a lot of work done.  Like I said, her voice is amazing.  Alan Cumming was wasted.  It was heartbreaking watching him relegated to odd ball bit player after seeing him in Cabaret on Broadway (which he won the Tony).  They only gave him one number and cut into it so many times it hurt.  Cam Gigandet (who makes up these names?) didn’t really read straight to me.  Was he told to play a fey straight boy?  Because that’s how it read to me.  To be fair, this is the first thing I’ve seen him in.  But still, I’m just saying.  And finally, if Stanley Tucci plays one more gay man in a film I’m going to vomit.  WTF?  He plays the same role he played in The Devil Wears Prada.  It’s just creepy.  All that said, I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it.  I’ll repeat that I’m ambivalent.  What it made me want to do is go back and watch all of Cher’s old films.  Now there’s a fun weekend at home with a new love activity.